Way to Stop

Not admitting the truth
is the move I opt to make
and maybe, just maybe
a
crash
is
just
my
style
to
stop
.

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You, you, you

Is it love what I’m feeling? Is it infatuation? Is it yearning or is it desire?

Longing for him is an ancient routine. Years have gone by without dreams of him!

Oh, but the arguing and jest – the caring and the rest cannot possibly mean nothing at best!

Vast my heart be for his mistakes; for his dominance, arrogance, humility, and tenderness

Err we might be from time to time, but together we’ve given a thought to a second chance of friendship

at friendship it pauses
a scene I imagine
a word I cannot write

Continue reading “You, you, you”

Name

They tell me my name
and call me by custom

They love my jokes
and demand that I perform

They see my hijab
and tell me I’m a Muslim

They hear my thoughts
and say that I’m too firm

They love me; they hate me; they’re with me; they leave me; they tell me I’m sweet; they tell me I’m mean; they tell me I’m smart; they tell me I’m dumb; they tell me I’m strong; they tell me I’m spoiled; they laugh with me; they laugh at me; they say I’m free; they say I’m out of line

They see I’m different
and ask me to conform

To You

You’re a magnetic field
and you’re the gravity
You’re Bermuda Triangle
and I am lost in your element

Darling, this is both
desperation and sincerity;
illusion and reality;
greed and magnanimity

And this is you as this is me,
and this is us and is not us
This is you and me, not we
as it has never been ours

But here’s to you, here’s to you;
the joy and light of my life,
the trust I discovered late
in me, in you, in us, in now

 

 

Limerence

The sound of my name from your lips

The gentle caress of your hand

The flutter it caused in my chest

The resonant song in my ears

The stories of what has been

The promise of what will be

The kiss that never was

The dream that never ends

The intensity of this

and the momentary us

Paralleled,

and with a staged intimacy

mirroring my limerence

November 21, 2015

Today, I had you for myself

Had not intended to, but I drank happiness of you

As always, was it the circumstances,

or was it the times of previous absence,

to which I owe the bliss?

You were on stage

Your voice blaring, children laughing

You put on display

A wide grin sometimes for your own stupid jokes

A wide smile sometimes for your love of kids

You looked great, by the way

Your short hair looked good on you

I had thought you’d never ask

But you did, for me to come to your side

For a friendly company

But, boy, for me it has never been

a simply friendly thing

So for this brief Saturday afternoon

To this golden-hearted boy

I once again had a fling

And the magic wore off

when afternoon turned to night

and you were back to be someone else’s

on a Saturday night.

***

Tidak ada judul untuk puisiĀ ini, yang dibuat setelah saya bertemu dengan dia (lagi-lagi di sebuah acara). Saat itu, sudah hampir setahun (atau lebih?) kami tidak bertemu, dan kehidupan cukup menyenangkan bagi saya. Karena itu, saya tidak menyangka bahwa akan ada lagi tulisan tentang dia. Tidak ada habisnya. Kalau begini terus, lama-lama saya harus bayar royalti padanya.