A Discussion: Religion

Today I had the pleasure to participate in an impromptu discussion with a friend. It touched the subject of religion – something that has been bothering my mind these past months. I did not know exactly when it started, but I guess the topic of religion has long found a home in the depth of my mind – only surfaced for a brief moment at random times.

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A Theme Song

A joyful thing happened to me today!

I found a recording that I thought I had lost!

I have always loved singing – mostly just for fun – but this one is very special. I sang the song for a friend’s wedding, and this recording was a part of weeks of practice. But more than that, I hold this recording dear to my heart because it involved two of my favorite people: the one for whom I sang and the one with whom I practiced.

In an attempt to cherish the memories and moments we shared (and because I obviously do not want to lose the recording), I put it (in the facade of an amateurish video – hey thanks, VivaVideo!) up on YouTube.

Click here if you want to listen and brave the consequences.

Truth

This is not the same stepping stone,
but everything else is:
The color I use to paint you
The pieces I assemble
The method I use to tell our story
The things they say
about how you love me, too
and the question that remains–
how much does it resemble your truth?

Heads-up!: A Birthday Challenge

August is finally coming!

Summer is coming to an end, but my birthday hype is just getting started!

They say 25 is the doomed period for some – heck, it even has its crisis: quarter-life crisis, so it’s called – so I want to start my 25th year of breathing our Mother Earth’s air (despite however polluted and horrid) by doing something special: writing a Quran verse each day for the whole month and how it can be applied to my life or whatever problem I will be dealing with.

I’m not exactly religious and I usually can’t see a project through so this would be a great challenge for this non-committed, self-proclaimed free spirit. A great, great challenge.

Let’s see if I can finally commit to one routine (for a month! Shame if you can’t, Mela).

Anyway.

Bear with me!

Acknowledgment

“I love you,” I heard that voice said.

Always at the most unexpected moments: on my way home, in my bedroom, during a trip, when I am working, on a random street, in the middle of the night, when I look at the sky and think of beautiful things. Just for a split second, “I love you.”

But do not misunderstand.

The Love is neither obsessive nor possessive. It does not want and does not claim although it can be quite overwhelming. After all, the Love floods the Heart with suffocating emotions.

Both everlasting and ephemeral, the Love transcends time. In that split second, the Love stands for what has been and what could be – encased in a transitory episode.

The Love speaks of friendship and brotherhood and sisterhood. It speaks of mentor and pupil. Of parental figure. Of guidance. It speaks of Love in its sincerest sense. It is present through and through.

Nay, this is not a confession.

This is an acknowledgment of what I can no longer deny. An acknowledgment of what I can no longer pretend to be a romantic fantasy.

The Love is now our bond, along with enough trust and understanding. Sometimes, with boundaries and distance,

like the spaces between words and the five-paragraph rule of an essay.

 

Tenchi

We were friends and then we were not. And then we were friends again, but this time I started to like you. And then we were some sort of enemies and some sort of close friends. And then we started over. And now we really are close friends with a lot has gone through. And all the way, I have loved you. More and more.

And you are my heaven and earth.

 

***

Alasan tag semua post yang berkaitan dengan dia adalah “tenchi” merupakan post ini. Saat itu sepertinya saya baru bertengkar hebat dengan dia, kemudian saya malah merasa lebih dekat dengannya. Hal tersebut dia akui juga: bahwa pertengkaran mendekatkan kami. Mengingat pertengkaran kami biasanya sangat hebat dan melibatkan kekeraskepalaan kami yang luar biasa, dibandingkan “heaven and earth”, dia lebih tepat disebut “heaven and hell”

Let the Night

Let the night be my witness of the pause of a time I am about to recall of a night blurred with the ecstasy of euphoria.

I remember how you seek out for my hand once you caught a glimpse of me and how you tracked me down with your eyes. Your eyes and your eyes only; not your thoughts because it wandered to the sea of people and because the center of the last curtain call was you, this euphoria all came from you.

So, darling, I handed out the last piece of the present I had promised you and I remember that look in your face, the humor in your eyes, and the delighted pitch in your voice, and so you hugged me, not knowing it meant the world to me.

Can’t you hear? It’s my hand, my embrace, my body telling you everything.

The relief,

happiness,

sadness,

longing,

affection.

Can’t you hear?

It was the one hug I need to be satisfied with. It was the one chance I could deliver to you what your presence has brought upon me.

So let the night be my witness of the pause of a time I wish would last ephemerally of a night blurred with the ecstasy of euphoria.

And congratulations to you, may the night send it to your window.

***

Saya jatuh cinta, sangat jatuh cinta. Begitu penuh cinta itu memenuhi hati saya, sehingga saya rajut syal dan kupluk untuknya. Ironisnya, di tahun 2013 ketika perasaan saya memuncak, datanglah seorang perempuan dalam hidupnya. Jadi, mungkin saat saya sedang mencintai dia, dia sedang mencintai gadis itu. Kemudian, kupluk itu menghilang bahkan dari ingatannya. Kenapa saya merelakan malam-malam ketika saya bisa beristirahat untuk merajut benda yang akan segera dia lupakan? Karena itulah indahnya masa-masa jatuh cinta: tak ada pamrih. Apa saya ingin kembali ke tahun 2013? Terima kasih, tapi tidak. Saya sekarang lebih mencintai tidur dibanding dia.