Do You See Her?

When you see me,
do you see her, too?

Do you see her eyes falter,
or her lips, pursed,
or her cheeks, fallen,
or her facial hair, half an inch too visible?

Do you see her slumped shoulders,
or her obvious lack of self-confidence,
or her shameless blackheads,
or her constant self-doubts?

Do you see that fear,
that solidifies with years,
or that tear,
that comes with public jeers
for times and times again?

Do you see the judgment she passed on herself,
or the noose around her neck,
or that she is suffocated
with things far too inexplicable?

She is all I see on the mirror
when all I am supposed to see is me,
and she is all I see from a distance
when I let myself go

She is eating away at me,
and I am losing myself with every bite

Starry Lips

Image Courtesy: Pinterest

It was hard, you said,
so you swallowed the night whole just to keep you inside
In the silence that followed, your words were constellations
Sparkles of sorrows and grief and things that keep you human
Fabricated ecstasy and forced venerability

In the world of Suns, the Moon has no place to shine
and is denied its right to be recognized
I used to love you with pretend understanding,
but as you were, my lips are now stained with stars
Glittery with all the lies they need to hear,
all because the Moon has no place to shine

We have to meet, you said,
but I fear for the night to end
once two universes collide

I used to love you with pretend understanding,
but it was safer then than today,
when love is lost and I am as much you as you were

Recurring Thought

It is lonely. And nauseating. And I’ll break into tears anytime now. And I’ll still be all alone. And I’ll be here, always. And I’ll be alone still.

The world is not a cruel place, but this is something I have to remind myself every now and again just to get by.